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Mall owners need to be more diligent about the kinds of things they allow within their space. Look at this irresponsibility, for instance – a scientifically impossible horse, trying to make off with a nice family of shoppers! Somebody is going to lose their job in front of this, I tell you.
I hate to get all political, but this is yet another instance of the dangers of cut-rate, imported toys. Here we see a stuffed animal – a nice little doggy, yes? – attacking a young girl who was foolhardy enough to cuddle with it. Mercury is great for thermometers, people, but it’s not good for the water supply. Watch what you’re doing, and check the labels on the toys you’re buying!
HELLLLLLOOOO LADIES! This young lady knows a thing or two about having fun. Exhibit A: She’s playing Metroid. That’s old school! Exhibit B: She’s playing it on the original NES. That’s old school! Exhibit C: The NES system she’s using has a controller pad that is so big it borders on the surreal! Rock on, groovy lady!
This one’s more than a little bit bittersweet for me … brings back some memories of my old bear, Mr. Poddington Bodsworth-Rugglesby III. Lost him in a kitchen of a Waffle House when I was just a boy. DAMN YOU WAFFLE HOUSE MAKING MY DAD WORK THE NIGHT SHIFT AND BEING ALL SLEEP-DEPRIVED AND STUFF.
Hey, is that a big collectible plate in the window? I love collectible plates.
White queen to king’s bishop, black rook to I QUIT. These comically large chess sets are fun at the mall, but only because you’ve got a giant slushie. What’s the fun of chess without slushies? Or at least the possibility of a cheesesteak made by an unfriendly Hispanic woman. You give me that, I’ll play you some chess with pieces that are difficult to move. No cheesesteak? No chess.
Man, look at the size of this Lego block! Imagine the fortress you could build if you had a whole box of these! That would be the greatest! I’d like, never leave the house.