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January 22, 2008. Animals, Appliances, Books, Checks, Divine hammer, Food, Hands, Hats, Musical instruments, Noses, Office supplies, Pencils, People, Rear ends, Robots, Shoes, Sports, Toys, Vehicles, Watches. 1 comment.

Giant cookie!

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This lady has one of those giant twisty cookie things. I forget what they’re called. But man, that looks good. She doesn’t seem convinced, though – judging by her expression, she was hoping for something other than a giant twisty cookie. But who can speak to what fortune holds? Life consists of taking things in stride, be they blessing, curse or giant cookie.

December 19, 2007. Food. 5 comments.

Giant fish, with girls!

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HELLLLOOOOO LADIES! Nice looking fish you’ve got there. Mind if I fry it and dunk it in a whole mess of cocktail sauce, then eat it? No? Why, thank you! I love me some fried fish. Add some onion rings, and you’ve got happiness on a plate. You already know it!

December 19, 2007. Animals, Food. Leave a comment.

Giant noodle bowl and chopsticks!

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Man, I love noodles. One of life’s sublime pleasures, truly, whether doused in marinara or gently kissed with soy. Hey, wait a minute, you don’t rinse your noodles after cooking them, do you? You better not! You rinse my noodles and I’m never speaking to you again! Rinsing freshly cooked noodles washes away the crucial starches which allow your chosen sauce to adhere to the noodly surface. Don’t rinse them! (Not like you have a sink big enough to rinse the noodles that are going in this bowl anyway, am I right? I mean, come on, people, am I right?)

December 6, 2007. Food. 1 comment.

Giant meatball!

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Man, I love meatballs. Think about it – they represent two of life’s most wonderful things. Meat. Balls. Meat is delicious and nutritious – that’s protein, Holmes! And balls are fun to play with – like them bouncy superballs you sometimes get out of vending machines! Those are the best. But anyway, yeah, meatballs. And this one’s huge. I’d eat this with a bucket full of penne, you know.

December 3, 2007. Food. 1 comment.

Giant hot dog, making lewd gestures in front of a very nice lady!

I love me some hot dogs. Like to overcook them on the grill, burn ’em just a bit – because carbonization + ketchup = daddy is happy!

But this hot dog doesn’t please me. He’s behaving inappropriately. Not sure what he’s thinking in this picture, but I’ll bet you anything it has the words “eat” and “me” in it. Not polite, especially given how pleasant this woman is. She seems like she’s really sweet. She deserves better than some vile hot dog man/boy, acting ten kinds of fool with the ketchup and the mustard.

November 30, 2007. Food, People. 1 comment.

Giant thing of french fries!

Let me tell you something right now: If I had a thing of french fries this big, I’d tell the whole world to kiss my ass. Can you imagine? This would totally rock. And the amount of ketchup these suckers could stand up to! It moggles the bind. I’ve gotta get back to Lekker & Laag – haven’t shopped there in a long time. What was it, two years ago I bought my desk there? Didn’t even realize they sold giant fries.

November 23, 2007. Food. 1 comment.

Giant donut!

I don’t know who Randy is, but he’s one lucky sucker. The guy’s got a donut so big, he has to put it on the roof of his house! Check that … multiple donuts! Mother of god, it’s plural! Still, you can’t have everything you want in life. Randy might have some amazing donuts, but his house looks more like a restaurant than a house. And what if it rains? There’s a very real chance that donut will get soggy. And then I won’t want to eat it.

November 21, 2007. Food. 1 comment.

Giant sandwich!

THE NAAAAAAME GAME! Sandwich sandwich bo bandwich bananafana mo mandwich. Fe-fi-fo-fandwich … SANDWICH! Give me a bite of that thing!

November 20, 2007. Food. 1 comment.

Giant fish head!

Holy crap … or should I say, holy carp! But of course, I don’t know whether that’s a carp or not, so that particular pun may be ill-timed. I don’t know my fish, can’t really tell the different varieties apart. But I know what I like, and I know I like it when those suckers are breaded and fried and put on a plate in front of me! Hotel, motel, Holiday Inn! You totally know what I’m talking about. Cocktail sauce.

November 19, 2007. Animals, Food. 2 comments.

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