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January 22, 2008. Animals, Appliances, Books, Checks, Divine hammer, Food, Hands, Hats, Musical instruments, Noses, Office supplies, Pencils, People, Rear ends, Robots, Shoes, Sports, Toys, Vehicles, Watches. Leave a comment.

Giant horse, trying to abscond with some nice people!

We’ve moved! Please update your bookmarks to the new and improved www.comicallylargethings.com!

Mall owners need to be more diligent about the kinds of things they allow within their space. Look at this irresponsibility, for instance – a scientifically impossible horse, trying to make off with a nice family of shoppers! Somebody is going to lose their job in front of this, I tell you.

January 4, 2008. Animals, Divine hammer, Toys. 3 comments.

Giant hand, about to grab girl!

We’ve moved! Please update your bookmarks to the new and improved www.comicallylargethings.com!

Lady, look out! There’s an abnormally large hand reaching for you! Drop the bottled water and run!

Let this be a lesson to all of you, kids: You need to pay better attention to your surroundings. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the minutiae of day-to-day affairs, noses to the grindstone and blinders engaged and blocking out the larger view of the world. But what do you lose when you pour yourself into your tunnel vision? You lose the big picture. You lose a global perspective. And you lose the sense of initiative that comes from knowing a giant hand is about to squeeze the bejeezus out of you.

December 19, 2007. Divine hammer, Hands. Leave a comment.

Giant hands, about to grab girl!

Lady, look out! Two monstrous hands are extracting themselves from terra firma, and they’re slouching toward you! Start running now and you might stand a chance! Gaia has had all she is going to take of humanity, I suppose, and you, dear girl, stand poised to receive her wrath … RUN!

November 23, 2007. Divine hammer, Hands. 1 comment.

Giant bird!

Every time you microwave something you shouldn’t, the seals on your oven break down a little. And every time the seals break down a little, a little more radiation gets released into the environment. And every time a little more radiation gets released into the environment, we all get one step closer to Bird Apocalypse. Like what you see? No? Then learn to use the damn microwave properly.

November 20, 2007. Animals, Divine hammer. 1 comment.

Giant nut roll!

AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

November 19, 2007. Divine hammer, Food. 1 comment.

Giant spoon, with fork and girl!

Look at the expression on this woman’s face. Is it shock? Horror? Delight? Irony? A devastating amalgam of all of the above? Well, just consider how you would feel if confronted with such a fork and spoon. What are you supposed to make of it? Is God taunting you, using simple constructs of wood to remind you just how small and insignificant you are? Is it a harbinger of human evolution, an invitation to gigantism? Or is it just an interesting decorating ethic?

Also, hello ladies!

November 6, 2007. Appliances, Divine hammer, People. 1 comment.

Giant spoon!

What the heck is going on here? People are just leaving their utensils laying around outside now? This is rude no matter your size or stature; but when you’re a Bunyanesque giant, it’s especially rude for you to be leaving your spoons laying around! Somebody is going to trip over this, and then who will be laughing? Huh!?!? And please, who leaves the cherry behind? Everybody knows you eat that first.

November 6, 2007. Appliances, Divine hammer, Food. 1 comment.

Giant bowling pin!

AAAAAUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHH! They’ve had all the abuse they’re going to take, and they’re plenty mad! You would be too if you spent the last two centuries being struck repeatedly by 16-pound balls, even if they do have fanciful colors and designs. Who can blame any of the participants of the Great Bowling Pin Revolution? Surely not I. I have taken part in knocking down more than my fair share of them.

November 2, 2007. Divine hammer, Sports. 2 comments.

Giant woman, ruining soccer game!

Not long ago, I decided to watch a soccer game to see what all the fuss was about. You know what happened? Not much, that’s what. Guys ran back and forth for an hour, nobody scored, and then it ended. In a tie. What? A tie? Where do you think you’re going? Keep playing until somebody wins! I thought this was a sport, not Scrabble! Why couldn’t a nice pair of giant female legs have walked into that game, huh?

November 1, 2007. Divine hammer, People, Sports. 1 comment.

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