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True story: I won a giant check when I was in fourth grade. It was for an essay contest, and my piece was titled “I Pity the Consciousness: Cartesian Dualism in the Milieu of The A Team.” Swept the damn awards, I can tell you. So I get the check and I’m all ready to take it to the bank and cash it, when Ms. Milliver comes over and asks for it back – it’s just a prop, she says, it’s not really a check, she says, they’ve got a gift certificate for O.G. Wilson’s that I can have and the check was never really mine.
Something changed in me that day. The young boy that had enough trust in his heart to take the world at face value grew up abruptly; things looked a little bit different from that point on, and although I would learn to trust again, I would go through my youth wondering what other cherished tenet of my faith might be built upon shaky sand.
Oh, and yes, hellllooo ladies!
Fabulous. What could be better than getting a giant novelty check? How about having it presented to you by a giant superhero dog? This is life right here, friends – study this picture so you’ll recognize good times when they come your way. Also, please notice the smaller dog off to the right – isn’t he adorable? Who’s a good doggy, huh? You are! You are!
You know what would be great? Go to JC Penney on one of those weekends when their shirts are “buy one, get one for a penny,” and pay for the first shirt, then say, “um, excuse me, I need to go out to my car, be right back,” then roll this sucker in. Second shirt! Yessir.
This guy got a giant check! That’s always fun. Direct deposit would be more practical, but what can you do? Sometimes it’s more about the check than the money, if you know what I mean. But this check? This is just silly.
Holy crap! Not only did this girl get a giant check, but it was presented to her by a robot Pope! THERE’S NO POSSIBLE FRAME OF REFERENCE FOR THIS KIND OF THING!