Giant spoon, with girl!
This is a big ol’ wooden spoon. Granny would use this to stir the hell out of some chili. Oh, no, wait, no she wouldn’t – because this young lady has been putting it on her head! Young lady, don’t you realize how many germs and bugs are crawling around on the average scalp? A lot, let me tell you, and Granny doesn’t want your hair-bugs in her chili. To this spoon, I say “Thanks but no thanks!”