Giant computer!
This is a nice touch – the hotel offers free computer use for its guests – but I think they made a mistake when they chose one huge computer rather than a bunch of regular-sized ones. Sure, maybe they saved a little bit of money, but the trade-off is serious – very few people will be able to actually use this thing, owing to the fact that the keyboard is suspended in mid-air and will require a fair amount of physical acumen to reach. It’s also completely unaccessible to people with disabilities, unless they’ve got some sort of lift system that I can’t discern in this photo.
Then there’s the matter of the operating system – is that Linux? Big mistake for a hospitality provider. Most consumers are familiar with Windows and Windows only. Bonus geek points, but still, not a wise choice here.
Finally, they’ve installed it near the swimming pool. What if that thing falls in? God help us all.
Giant book, with girls!
These ladies couldn’t resist a photo opportunity, especially when they came across this titanic copy of “Quantity Surveying in 19th-century Ecuador.” Chicks absolutely freak out over that book. I keep a copy in my truck at all times, just to impress the ladies.
Giant sweet potato!
I know they’re supposed to be better for you than regular potatoes, but I just don’t care for sweet potatoes. Not sure why. They’re kind of crumbly, and the sweetness seems cloying. I’ve tried dousing them in butter and that helps a little, but I’d still rather have a regular one.
Have you ever made sweet potato fries? Those are okay, but again, they just leave me really wanting the real thing. So I’m not sure it’s a good substitute, especially from a weight loss standpoint, if all it results in is me going out and buying a thing of regular fries.
Giant watermelon!
Look everybody, it’s the world’s largest watermelon! Think how much fun you could have making one of those boat-shaped carving things. That would bring a special touch to your next party! But by the time you got done scooping out all of those teeny tiny melon balls, your wrist would hurt!
Giant cookie!
This abnormal cookie has inspired me to write a song. Sing it to yourself, to the theme of Rihanna’s “Umbrella”:
This cookie is so large / I can’t wait to put my face into it / Lots of chocolate chips, oh yeah, baby / I SURE HOPE MY DOG STUART DOESN’T EAT IT BEFORE I GET A CHANCE TO.
Giant trumpet!
This guy at work was talking the other day about his “butt trumpet.” I don’t know what in the hell that is, but I hope it isn’t this thing, because that would hurt! Also, this trumpet is notable not only because it is huge but because it is white. Most trumpets are not white but that shiny gold brass color. Except the cheap ones, which discolor easily.
Giant hamster!
You know what I love? That new website that has the little hamsters dancing around and singing! DE DAH DE DAH DE DE DOH DOH, DE DAH DE DOH DOOOOH! Man, that’s the best. But those guys are little – this hamster is huge. I’d like to see him dance all the same. I’ll bet he’s great at it!
Giant syringe!
Dammit, what is wrong with people? This girl is hugging this giant needle like it’s a friend of hers. That thing is not your friend, honey! Can you imagine the burn-hole it’s gonna leave in your arm? I mean. I hate needles! This thing would scare the excrement right out of me if I saw it coming at me in an exam room. And what would your doctor say about that dosage?
Giant steak!
Oh hell yes … I am gonna eat that! That’s a fine piece of meat right there. No room on the plate for macaroni or baked potato or whatever. Who needs carbs when you’ve got a solid pound or two of moo staring you down? Not me. I’m ready to get elbow-deep in this mess.
Giant motorcycle!
KICK ASS!
